I will die if light touches me.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
