while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
