Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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