walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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