video games are the ultimate cock blocker
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
