the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
