great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
