There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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