I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
