I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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