she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
