At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
