I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
That's when you crack a 10am beer
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
