just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
