McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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