Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
