your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I can't trust your balls anymore.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
