Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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