you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
