dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Enjoy the penises
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
