Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I want to walk on stilts...naked
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
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