Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
