if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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