My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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