She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
