my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
