Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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