there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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