he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
