i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
