As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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