i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
