Kiss
Puke
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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