Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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