Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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