your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
