What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
