is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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