he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
