do herpes really smell.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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