He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
