i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
