CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm like, not good at living.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
