Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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