i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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