So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
