he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
