xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
