I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I wish i was in the wii world.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
