Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
