at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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