I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
