i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
